See no Anchor Necklaces

(Thanks, S Tuprung!)

Smell No Snacks?

It's supossed to be "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" not tummy-grumble no evil. But I guess understand - if the way to a man's heart is through the stomach, then I guess it makes sense that's the path evil would take too.

Cactus Boner

"Do I make you thorny, baby?"

Ugh, I just hated myself so much for typing those words.

"I'm flying, Jack! I'm Really Flying!"

No one had the heart to tell them they weren't on a boat.



(Thanks, Sarah!)

A Horse is a Horse (Of Course, Of Course)

Most people think Mister Ed "talked" because the film crew applied peanut butter to his gums. However, Producer Alan Young admitted in 2004 that he had made up that story himself, and explained that they employed a much more sinister method: marionette-like nylon strings attached the horse's lips.

And you really don't want to know how they got him to whinny.



(Thanks for sending, Bridget!)

See no ugly shirts

"Okay guys, you all look great. This is going to be a hilarious picture. Wait, Steve, that shirt is really hideous."
"Just take the photo."
"Your shirt is too ugly. People will be distracted by its ugliness. Take it off."
"Are you serious?"
"I don't think you understand. Your shirt is the ugliest thing I've ever seen."
"Fine."
"MUCH BETTER."

SAVOR IT, JAWS. SAVOR IT.

For every 35,000 shlubby dads, ice cream stained kids, and plus-sized moms, Jaws gets one mouthful of hottie. Midwestern hottie, obviously.

Daydreams!

Right before Leonard snapped a picture of his wife and her sister, his brother-in-law, Carl, whispered a profound, amazing, and serious comment-- made all the more amazing because Leonard was thinking the same thing: "I wish Jaws was alive and very hungry."

Jaw Bully

Did you ever try to intimidate the neighborhood bully by saying your big brother would come beat them up if they messed with you? This is kind of like that, but instead of the big brother, it's Jaws.

To paraphrase Chris Rock...

If a girl has a lip ring, she'll probably suck your... leaning tower of Pisa.



(Thanks, Patrick!)

"Here's my review of A Brief History of Time!"

Hey, Leggo my... Lego

According to the internet, Lego fans have their own acronyms:
AFOL: Adult Fan of LEGO
BFC: Big Freaking Castle
BURP: Big Ugly Rock Piece
HOG: Hand of God, when you move your minifigs around, this is what they think of your hand
LF and NLF: LEGO Friend and Non-LEGO Friend
LS and NLS: LEGO Spouse and Non-LEGO Spouse (guess which one approves of the LEGO hobby)
MOC: My Own Creation

Here we find two AFOLs misusing their HOG...



(Thanks, Heather!)

Did you know they moved the Eiffel Tower to Williamsburg?

What a waste of a cool pair of aviators. With this pose, he might as well be wearing Oakleys. Doesn't he know hipsters don't make silly jokes? Oh, I get it, this is an ironic... right...

See no friends around? No Problem!

Below you'll see ample evidence of the start of a cliche within a cliche. That's right, it's just like the crappy Matrix sequels.

The only thing better than a statue-groper...

...is someone getting caught taking a statue-groping pictures of himself.



"Ok, everyone, picture time is over. Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to be alone with Ms. Croft."



(Thanks, Jessie!)

Who's more of a douche?

The owner of the car or the guy in the photo? There are convincing arguments for both.

Everybody be cool, this is a robbery!

First I need a bump and then I'm gonna put my mask on and rob this place!



Sometimes you just want to joke about a dude wearing a bandana, you know?

4th Meal

Taco bell just got some competition in the fourth meal market with Wendy's aggressive, albeit slightly illegal, take on the concept.

Yes We Can... Grope Statues

The Washington Post is running a story about Barack Obama's 27-year-old speechwriter, Jon Favreau, and the somewhat overblown "scandal" caused by a photo he briefly uploaded to facebook. He's clearly a man after our hearts...



(Thanks, Shannon!)

Circle Jerk Grope

Groping a statue's breast while the statue is poking your boyfriend's penis is kind of like a snake eating its own tail. But also the tail is your boyfriend's penis.

"I'll have a number 26, if you know what I mean..."

Behold, the joys of ordering off-menu:



(Thanks, Shad-- the king of McDonalds)

"Statue, you have a perfect ass."

Following the statue's gaze, it's safe to say he's thinking the same thing about her.

Ba da bap ba baaaa...

"I'm lovin' it."

Consensual?

He has a sword and she's not smiling. Worrisome...

See no lynndie

This is what happens when you try to convince your friends to be "hear no evil" and "Speak no evil."

Everyone's a critic

With Friends Like These, Who Needs a Colorful Wardrobe

We hope they held onto the Surge soda bottle. In 2005, a 12-pack of the now-defunct cola sold for $160.08 on eBay.



(Thanks, Punketta!)

Only 51 Days Till Inauguration Day!

(Thanks, Yuval)