Photo Clichés

Head Candy

2011-05-20T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hed Kandi is a UK-based record label and a music brand which was established in 1999 by Mark Doyle, specializing in commercial house music.

These dudes are UK-based kids which was established in 2011, specializing in taking snarking pictures with Hed Kandi.

The Wizard of Guantanamo

2011-05-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

From next year's SAT...

White bars : :License plates :: Black bars : ___________

a) wizards
b) bros icing bros
c) naked Iraqi prisoner's faces
d) all of the above

(Thanks, Eric!)

What has a goatee, wallet chain, leg tattoo, and loves blowjobs?

2011-05-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

This guy!

Nic Cage Grope

2011-01-14T08:18:00.000-08:00

I mean......... wouldn't you?

Photo via bonerdeflater.tumblr.com

Statue Frenching

2010-12-30T10:18:00.001-08:00

See No Evil in Da Club

2010-11-21T17:59:00.000-08:00

Dude just learning about sexuality: "Sup ladies, you may remember me from when you woke up this morning... cause I'm the man of your dreams."
Dude's knowledgable friend: [whispers in his ear.]
Dude just learning about sexuality: "What the fuck is a lesbian?"
Dude's knowledgable friend: [whispers some more.]
Dude just learning about sexuality: "THAT MAKES NO SENSE-- YOU CAN'T DIGEST CARPETS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU MUNCH THEM!"

(Thanks, Jared!)

See no Fashionistas

2010-11-12T10:55:00.000-08:00

"Heyyyyyy bro are you wearing your black bracelets tonight?"
"Heyyyyyy you know it, bro. You wearing your pink hoodie?"
"You know it!"
"Sweeeeeet"
"Should we invite that girl?"
"....."
"She's really good at photocliches."
"Fine."
[guys make out]

(Thanks, Joseph!)

Captioning for Clarity

2010-11-11T15:14:00.001-08:00

Oh. I get it now.

(Thanks, Reyna!)

Authenticity

2010-11-03T13:19:00.001-07:00

Bonus points for using an actual bottom-of-the-ocean salvaged ship.

(Thanks Carole!)

Gropin' it up at the Louvre

2010-10-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

So many famous statues to grope-- Venus di Milo, Winged Victory-- and you chose to grab these hard, muscular, perfect buttcheeks? Hmmm, I guess when we put it that way, we can't blame you.

(Thanks, Dana!)

Washington's Revenge

2010-10-07T11:43:00.000-07:00

I'll chop down your cherry tree, if you know what I mean.

(Thanks, Jessica!)

Angels in the Dark

2010-09-23T11:51:00.000-07:00

Is it just us, or does the fourth girl over look like Kayla from Dating in the Dark Episode six? I mean ummmm-- we don't watch that stupid show!?!?!

I heart coke

2010-08-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

I'm King of the Worrrrrld!

2010-07-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

His best friend from camp is watching like "um ur suppozd to be at the bow of the ship?"

I'm King of the Dolls!

2010-07-15T05:33:00.000-07:00

10 internets to anyone who identifies the doll.

Argh, King of the World, Be me, says I

2010-07-14T05:32:00.000-07:00

Why do pirates love the movie Titanic? Because it's rated PG-thARGHHHteen!

I'm King of the World!

2010-07-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

Dorm Life 101

2010-07-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

"Hey dudes from down the hall, please pay attention to our clever See No Evil pose instead of mentally ranking us in order of hotness?"

(obviously it goes "right, left, center." My roommate be askin watchu hidin' under dat hoodie, grrrrl?)

Charlie's wedding photos

2010-06-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

sometimes we wonder if some of the bridesmaid-angel poses at wedding are the photographer's idea, but not with this photo. You can tell by their enthusiasm that this cliche comes straight from the heart.

professional lynndie photo

2010-06-02T03:40:00.000-07:00

No portfolio is complete without your own take on Lynndie England. After speaking with the photographer he explained that, "it was an attempt to place Lynndie in the garden of Eden, where she belongs."

A Good Idea at 5:00 AM

2010-06-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

After a long night of partying and there's no more coke left on the table (a cliche we can only hope they acted out earlier), the only thing left to do is, well, you know...

(Thanks, Mau!)

Ronald McDonald Sex

2010-05-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

This statue gets so many clown blowjobs that we might have to start a subcliche just for all the pictures of people having steamy oral sex with Ronald McDonald.

See No Music Festivals

2010-05-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

Girls, turn around... you're missing the show on the main stage at the... most depressing music festival in the world?

(Thanks, Annette!)

Dr. Whoa!

2010-05-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

Without his scarf, Dr. Who is powerless to stop the Daleks from ravaging his bum... with what appears to be a toilet plunger?

(Thanks, Isabel!)

The Best of Both Worlds

2010-05-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

See No Evil and statues? This must be heaven.

(Thanks, CgX!)

NATO See No Evil

2010-05-05T15:48:00.001-07:00

Is there no one in the Western Hemisphere who can resist the cliche?

I Saw Mommy Groping Santa Claus

2010-05-04T10:37:00.001-07:00

In the Wal-Mart.

Statue Groping: David Simon's Treme Edition

2010-04-27T11:02:00.000-07:00

Avid statue-groper Deena took this photo in New Orleans, in a French Quarter jazz bar called BMC off of Decatur St.
After all they've been through, it's comforting to see the city back on its feet with a drunk girl cupping its boobs.

Tranny Hand Job Statue Grope

2010-04-22T18:42:00.000-07:00

Egads. Just egads. I could explain this more, but really, there's nothing more to say that it's a transvestite giving a statue a handie.

Charlie's Angels Go to Sears

2010-04-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

$15 will get you one 8x10, two 5x7s, four 4x6s, and fifteen wallets!

(Thanks, Jessica!)

I'm the King of the Galactic Empire

2010-04-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Dave.

Lilo and Lynndie

2010-03-31T15:08:00.000-07:00

At first it might seem like this guy is being dragged to disney by his wife... then you notice the slightly askew rodent ear on his shirt. My god, he's a self-hating disney fan!

It's like if Lynndie England had pointed at fellow soldiers rather than severely abused prisoners.

Be Prepared... to grab some boob

2010-03-26T11:28:00.000-07:00

In case you were wondering, yes, there is a merit badge for cliches.

See No NSFW

2010-03-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

You can't imagine how excited we get when we hear the words "HOT TUB."
Like-- SUPER excited.
Hot tubs are magical places where bottles are spun and bikini tops fall off.
So, yes, we opened this email faster than when we're promised five million dollars from a Nigerian prince.
No, faster.

And this is the hot tub picture we get?
NO DRINKING!?!?!?
NO NOODZ!?!?!

For shame, internet. For shame.

(Thanks, Kitty.)

Starting The Week Off Right

2010-03-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

In case you were wondering, here are the ingredients to happiness on a Monday morning at the Photocliche corporate office in Cedar Rapids, Iowa:

Two genorous handfuls of magnificent boob.
One fountain stream that looks like pee (a cliche unto itself).
Bill Cosby in the background.

(Thanks to Jon at the IU Showalter Fountain.)

PS Can somebody please give Bill Cosby a Lynndie?

I'm king of something, dammit!

2010-03-04T14:15:00.000-08:00

Normally when we're searching flickr for cliche's we'll ignore anything improperly tagged, but this pic demanded to be shared with the world, cliche or not.

Our king has a good thing going on. He's playing computer games drunk out of his mind with a garbage right there in case he barfs. I wonder if his football playing sons kick the crap out of him?

I'm king of going 18-1

2010-03-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

We're can't tell if this was photoshopped by New England fans or haters. Seems like both parties would be into it.

ARRRRRGH, ME BALLS!!!

2010-03-02T17:46:00.000-08:00

2010-02-26T10:30:00.000-08:00

Ok. This photo is from Disneyland's Splash Mountain ride, one of the first rides to implement the photo-while-you-drop idea. Kudos to these kids for finding a way to make their plunge unique!

But rather than make fun of these kids, hilarious though they may be, there's more important things to talk about: Disney's Song of the South, the inspiration for Splash Mountain. Made in 1946 and never released on DVD or VHS, it stars Uncle Remus, a "servant" (not a slave!) who, ummm, liked to hang around a plantation and do free work for white people?

You probably remember Zip-a-dee-doo-dah:

The lyrics go a little something like this:

Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder.
It is the truth, It's actual,
Everything is satisfactual [except for my socio-economic condition and that of my children and my childrens' children].

(Thanks for sending, Chelsea!)

See No Supermodels

2010-02-25T10:30:00.000-08:00

Linda Evangelista, Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington, speaking, hearing and seeing no evil, Fashion Group Party, Plaza Hotel, NYC. 1989. (No one ever said they were smart.)

(Thanks, John.)

Isn't it weird how everyone is snorting coke these days?

2010-02-23T13:59:00.000-08:00

Even a young albert Einstein. E=MCoke

How the Tables Have Turned...

2010-02-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

We can't tell who's enjoying this more-- the statue or the guy. (Thanks, Adam!)

Harry Lynndie and the Philosopher's Stone

2010-02-17T07:56:00.000-08:00

You might encounter this analogy on the SATs, so remember it: Naked Iraqi prisoners are to emotionally unbalanced US soldiers as Cats in wizard hats are to hipsters who wear scarfs purely for style.

The Penis of London

2010-02-16T06:59:00.000-08:00

Reader Linda sent in this pose fondling the real jewels at the Tower of London. All I remember about the Tower of London is Henry VIII's armor with his amazing oversized junk-protector, bulging out enormous, and thinking, "surely he doesn't need all that space... OR DOES HE!?!?!"

(It was my first historical boner!)

Ye Olde Lynndie England

2010-02-11T14:16:00.000-08:00

Reader Colin was looking through a collection of 15th Century woodcut art from the Netherlands, when he found what might be the first Lynndie England pose.

More profound is the fact that it also involves torture. Is this life imitating art? And if so, why was a Private First Class reservist in the 372nd Military Police Company reading about 15th century woodcut art? Curiouser and curiouser...

Fragonard

2010-02-08T10:59:00.001-08:00

Here's a submissiong from one of our gentle readers at the Fragonard museum in Paris, France.

Ah, Paris.
Dewey morning air.
The smell of fresh-baked baguettes.
The click-click-click of tourists' cameras.
WE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Suck the mighty cock of America's Lynndie England, you peacenik frogs-- we saved your asses in WW2! USA! USA! USA!

See No Future Dancers

2010-02-05T12:17:00.000-08:00

Look at all these young dancers, so full of promise and hopeful dreams. Unfortunately not a single one of them will make it as a dancer, professionally.

That's right, here at photocliches, we crush peoples' dreams just like The Rock's character in The Tooth Fairy.

Speaking of The Tooth Fairy, did you guys see it? It was ~~so bad it made me want to stab myself in the eyeball with a soda straw~~ TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!

Don't Google This

2010-02-01T09:05:00.001-08:00

While "researching" the plausibility of a joke for this photo, we googled "Human head fits in urethra."

Don't do it.

And the worst part is... we still don't know if it's possible.

(Thanks, Edwin!)

Naughty Naughty

2010-01-21T10:12:00.001-08:00

Don't let your bosses at Ann Taylor Loft catch you gropin' that ass!

See no Danger on the Oil Rig

2010-01-20T11:24:00.000-08:00

Always wear safety gear when evil might be around.

(Thanks, Sarah!)

Jersey Shore

2010-01-19T08:42:00.000-08:00

Here we see Pittsburgh Steeler's offensive lineman Chris Kemoeatu giving a Lynndie at a Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino convention. Oh Internet, is there nothing you can't provide?

(Thanks, Zack!)

An Ass Worth Climbing Through Rose Bushes

2010-01-15T15:07:00.000-08:00

(Thanks, Tracy!)

Mom's Lil' Angels

2010-01-12T14:52:00.000-08:00

One 8x10.
Two 5x7s.
Four 4x6s.
Twenty wallets.

Best money mom ever spent at Sears.

(Thanks, Emma!)

See No Flannel

2010-01-11T12:34:00.001-08:00

Yes, we know flannel is back, but just like the monkey pose in which it's worn, that doesn't make it any less cliche.

(Thanks, A)

Is the Samurai moving in for a grope...

2010-01-07T10:43:00.000-08:00

Or waving away her fart?

Charlie's Devils

2010-01-06T12:39:00.000-08:00

If Charlie's Angels grace my dreams every evening, now I know three guys who'll haunt my nightmares.

(Thanks, Reno)

Dick like a cannon

2010-01-03T19:55:00.000-08:00

Top five ZZ Top songs: Gimme all your lovin, Sharp Dressed Man, La Grange, Stages, and Velco Fly.

Reason #23 to Avoid a Hot Pink French Manicure

2009-12-28T12:27:00.000-08:00

You'll get made fun of on the internet.

(Thanks, Jessica!)

Hot Gigantic Sexy Tim McGraw

2009-12-23T13:58:00.000-08:00

Let's just hope everything's to scale.

(Thanks, Jen!)

What Has Two Thumbs and Loves Statue Groping?

2009-12-18T11:08:00.000-08:00

This guy.

(Thanks, Cosette!)

Lynndie at the Zoo

2009-12-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

Forget The Men Who Stare at Goats, 2010 is all about The Women who Lynndie at Llamas.

(Thanks, Cody!)

Crazy Girls

2009-12-16T11:16:00.000-08:00

We might need to start a whole new sub-cliche just for Crazy Girls.

(Thanks, Andrea!)

I'm King of The Wire Season 2!

2009-12-15T15:44:00.000-08:00

Workin' the docks is tough, and if you ain't got a union card, you gotta act out a scene from Titanic.

(Thanks, Evan!)

Lynndie Wedding

2009-12-14T04:07:00.000-08:00

Maybe he should have told his wife before the wedding he didn't like the cake?

See No Axe Murderers

2009-12-11T04:05:00.000-08:00

Maybe if they weren't committing crimes against originality, they would have seen the evil lurking just around the corner...

(Thanks, Jessica!)

abused prisoners not included

2009-12-10T12:05:00.000-08:00

Cannon Humpers

2009-12-09T12:43:00.000-08:00

This looks less like a false phallus and more like a "dude humping a cannon." Not that there's anything wrong with that...

(Thanks, Hannah!)

See No Family Dinner

2009-12-08T11:12:00.001-08:00

Family dinners would be a lot more enjoyable if they were always held like this one.
Families. sigh.

Bizarro World

2009-12-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

We hope that somewhere there's a universe where everyone is a statue, and it's human beings who don't move, and the statues go around groping people, and in that world there's a blog called www.bizarrophotocliches.com, and on that blog is this picture, along with a caption like, "Check out Steve the Fish... what a huge douchefish!"

(Thanks, Jessica!)

See No Guns/Roses

2009-12-06T21:30:00.000-08:00

Ew, is she really touching that wall with her bare foot? Who knows where that foot's been...

(Thanks, John!)

Charlie's Glam Squad

2009-12-02T08:48:00.000-08:00

See what happens when you let four Pittsburgh hairstylists come up with an ad campaign? At least they're not waving terrible towels around like pretend dicks.

(Thanks, Claire!)

Oral Sex

2009-12-01T02:33:00.000-08:00

You remember those "cool" Abercrombie shirts with the "cool" chinese characters? You didn't care what they meant cause they looked soooo cool! Or what about that "cool" tattoo with the "cool" Russian letters on your "not skanky" ex-girlfriend? Probably said something totally "cool," right? But then again, who the hell knows. Maybe you were a walking advertisement that said "fuck me, daddy" like some of those hip Japanese kids who wear ragged shirts with filthy English slogans.

Wearing a shirt with Chinese writing, you're innocent--you didn't know any better. But if you're from another country and the shirt is in Engligh? Well, there's three universal languages: Love, Music, and motherfucking English. So take a look at this picture. You've got this ambiguously Nordic woman, who, by the way, is also ambiguously "a woman," and she obviously knows that her shirt says ORAL SEX in big letters. Is that what compelled her to give this poor statue a facefull of snatch?

The only thing better is the suggested merchandise available from photobucket:

Sign me up. I'll take fifty iPhone covers.

Blaming the Victim

2009-11-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

We don't mean to blame the statue, but come on... she's only human!

(Thanks, Joseph!)

Operation Overlord

2009-11-25T09:41:00.000-08:00

Now we know what gave the allies so much trouble landing at Normandy. At H-hour on D-day, reader Sav positioned and aimed his massive gun, then fired off what he could (it wasn't much).

Charlie's Steampunks

2009-11-24T04:57:00.000-08:00

Charlie's regular old teenage girls

2009-11-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

Or as they named themselves on flickr, and we quote, "Charlie's fucking crazy angels."

False Phallus Fiends, Bow Before Your Lord

2009-11-20T15:06:00.000-08:00

(Thanks, Photognome!)

Moob Grope

2009-11-19T06:39:00.000-08:00

To add to the indignity of having his manboob groped, the statue is taking a picture of the deed to post on Facebook later.

M.I.L.G.

2009-11-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

In the words of the submitter: "Yeah... Here's a picture of my mother groping a statue of Thoreau at Walden Pond. Unfortunately (maybe fortunately...), I didn't capture the moment when my father told her to put her boob in his hand."

Hat Trick

2009-11-17T11:56:00.000-08:00

(Thanks, Jessie!)

Hot Gorilla Sex

2009-11-16T10:08:00.000-08:00

There are two interesting things about the American Journal of Primatology. 1) It exists, and 2) it reports that Stony Brook University conducted a study on gorilla sexual habits, where a team of researchers spent thousands of dollars to chronicle the sex lives of lowland gorillas every day for more than three years. They wondered if "pregnant females can mimic ovulating females and dupe the male into mating with them, to distract him from what those other girls are doing."

"This kind of competitive behavior may even help explain why humans evolved into a mostly monogamous species," says the study.

Explaining human behavior, indeed.

(Thanks, Hayley!)

Dr. Phalluslove

2009-11-13T10:59:00.000-08:00

...or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Having a Giant Rocket Penis.

(Thanks, Cosette!)

Charlie's Shoppers

2009-11-12T12:15:00.000-08:00

From left to right: Urban Outfitters, Forever 21, and Gap. (Thanks, Jose)

Charlie's Transvestites

2009-11-11T09:04:00.000-08:00

The photo features one transvestite... or is it two? Maybe all three?! The debate of the decade is on.

Charlie's Art Chicks

2009-11-06T11:46:00.000-08:00

This is a classic example of the confusion teenage girls are dealing with: Wacky angles, black & White photo, short choppy hair, and then they throw in a cliche. but what's the bigger teenage cliche-- The Charlie's pose or the angsty black & white photo? I think it's a tie.

Charlie's armpits are really, really smelly

2009-11-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

Charlie's Junior Prom

2009-11-04T08:45:00.000-08:00

Behold, America: your future pharmaceutical sales reps, promotional beer girls, physical therapists, and just plain all-around skanks. Except for the Asian girl... she's a doctor.

Taking it Seriously

2009-11-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

We know it's not a contest, but you need to get it together, Brunette. Your sorority sister is back there with a flawless Daniel-san making everyone look bad. (Thanks, Alanna)

You Know What They Say About Statues with Big Feet...

2009-10-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

(Thanks, Al)

The Karate Man

2009-10-19T14:29:00.000-07:00

Behold, the karate man. And behold his Reefs. (Thanks, Maarten)

Bathroom Dixie Cup of Coke Snorting

2009-10-15T06:39:00.000-07:00

Only a man in jorts would find this hilarious...

Vintage Jaws (1985)

2009-10-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

1985 was a great year. Keira Knightley was born, Rod Carew topped 3,000 hits, Marty McFly took a Delorean joyride, and, according to this photo... Grandma took the very first Jaws photocliche? (Thanks, H. Lindsy!)

Three Lil' Monkeys

2009-10-14T10:38:00.000-07:00

Always teach your kids team work from an early age. (Thanks, Shar!)

(Also thanks to Katie, Katelyn, and Ethan!)

Face full of snow...

2009-10-13T10:18:00.000-07:00

Is she going down on the snowman version Jebodiah Springfield? (Thanks, Kimberley.)

Beyond Borders

2009-10-09T10:07:00.000-07:00

Over the years we've collected Lynndie pictures, we've seen a lot of things pointed at and compared to piles of naked Iraqi Prisoners: drunk chicks, police cars, the Holocaust Museum... the list goes on.

We're both proud and humbled to add D-List celebrity Kathy Griffin to that list. (Thanks, Tony! We hope you actually bought that book she's signing, too.)

Charlie's prom

2009-10-05T13:32:00.001-07:00

Is it weird that the girls didn't bat an eye when the photographer asked them to "line up from most to least slutty"?

Charlie's gamers' wet dream

2009-10-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

Doesn't this seem like what gun toting teen girl assassins would be like? All smiles with pink guns? They probably sing the new Lady Gaga song before they kill you.

Charlie's visual trickery

2009-10-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

Charlie's been deceiving us. Both with the "floating" sprite cans at the bottom of the photo and with that angel's gender. Small married man or powerful lesbian in "It's Pat" attire? You decide.

Charlie's shit just got real!

2009-09-30T12:15:00.001-07:00

Everybody has one friend that just goes too far with something. Bring him to dinner and you'll apologize to the waiter. Bring him to a wedding and he'll shoot the bride in the face.

Not only will these guys be shocked when they look over and see Johnny posed with a real gun, they'll simultaneously realize their finger guns make them look like ninnies.

Charlie's ladies of the night

2009-09-29T09:26:00.000-07:00